From Highlight Reel to Behind-the-Scenes: My 28 Truths

A few weeks back I had a chat with my sister-in-law over a (big) glass of wine about being honest, and how it is truly the only way to behave in business.

Fast forward a couple days later and a blogpost sauntered into my inbox from one of my favourite bloggers on the web – Ash from The Middle Finger Project – about opening up and being unabashedly honest, and it ignited something in me.

It stirred a desire deep down inside, daring me to be utterly honest about my life.

I mean, for so long now I have wanted to just unleash and let it all out. Sure, we are honest with most things in our business, how difficult this lifestyle can be, how much we have failed and what it really takes to live this life; but not once have I bared my soul, opened myself up to hardcore criticism and let it all hang out.

Why?

Because I was straight up frightened of being judged, petrified of looking as though I don’t have it all together and worried that by taking that step I would actually be taking a step back in our progress.

But fuck it. I’m going for it.

After all, so many of you have been honest with me about your fears, goals and dreams I figured it was about time I joined the party, lifted the veil on my highlight reel and let you into the behind-the-scenes on my life.

So without further adieu…

My 28 Truths

*takes a deep breath*

  1. I stressed whether to write this post for a full two days.
  2. We recently shot our first 4 episodes of Screw Qs and the perfectionist within me is absolutely petrified they will be total shit.
  3. About 6 weeks ago our affiliate sites got hammered by a Google update and within a month our income dropped by 40% – we are finally recovering but it was a rough month.
  4. I am scared I don’t know enough.
  5. I don’t have enough time or energy to spend catching up with friends on Skype and I have damaged some relationships because of that.
  6. I quietly speak to the Universe every single day.
  7. I get beyond frustrated with Josh for no reason.
  8. I have the world’s most supportive, encouraging, honest, loyal and loving husband, and sometimes I forget that.
  9. I cry multiple times per month because our chosen path is fucking hard!
  10. I simply do not have enough hours in the day to finish everything I need to get done.
  11. I wish it was easier.
  12. I worry. A lot.
  13. I blame myself when my newsletters don’t get the results I expected.
  14. I roll my eyes when someone Google’s me (a phrase coined by my girl, Mish from Making it Anywhere) with a basic question they could easily look up on one of our sites or run an actual Google search for.
  15. My grammar is terrible yet I cannot imagine devoting the time to actually learning proper technique because I have a million other things to do.
  16. Josh and I almost stopped working together before realizing how lost we would be without each other.
  17. I am extremely wary of people who are overly-loud about how much money they make, how savvy they are, how successful they are or how well their business is doing.
  18. I hate listening to excuses.
  19. I am bossy.
  20. I had a mini heart scare a few months ago and had to walk around with a portable EKG machine…and then hid it from my parents until accidentally letting it slip.
  21. I don’t know if Josh and I will ever have a “home” and that stresses me out.
  22. I over-think the hell out of things.
  23. I re-read my posts at least 3 times before publishing them.
  24. I was tormented by a bunch of girls all throughout high school and it still plays a role in how I react and deal with women in my adult life and the expectations I have of my inner sanctum of girlfriends.
  25. I dish out unsolicited business advice and then regret forcing my views on someone who may not be in that head space yet.
  26. I have a goal of making $25,172.85 per month. I don’t know why I chose that number but it came to me, I stuck with it and I am adamant on reaching it!
  27. I am goddamn driven to help you live the kind of life you dream of.
  28. I am so fucking scared to hit publish on this post and toss it out into the world.

And that’s me – unguarded, unfiltered and flawed.

I don’t have the perfect life but what I do have is a purpose and a plan – a plan to teach you how to stop settling for an unexciting life.

A plan to teach you how to start a freedom-based business and replace your income in less than a year.

A plan to help you bask in a lifestyle that fills you with infinite joy, supreme gratitude and boundless opportunities; no matter what trials and triumphs come your way.

And these plans fill my life with undeniable purpose and are the reason I embrace this unconventional life.

Honestly.

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  • Terry

    This is an encouragingly awesome post. Good to know that even those that I look up to (read: you :-) ) have their own fears and scares and sh*tty situations.
    That no.4 has me stuck on many paths, sometimes (like today) I can barely find the strength to get out of bed and move forward.
    I hope I don’t make you do no. 14 so much, and if I do, oopsy ;-)

    I think I will make my own list and out myself.

    xx

    • Jill

      Terry, I’m so happy to hear you found it to be of use! I have to admit, I was crazy nervous to put it out there so I’m thrilled to hear it wasn’t for nothing lol ;)

      And no, you don’t make me 14! haha

      I got your email and will reply to it in the morning but this girl is absolutely wiped from yoga and needs to hit the hay :)

      Thanks for the feedback and stay strong, girlfriend! I know you have it in you!

      • Terry

        Thanks Jill,

        Feel free to load the reply with #25, which I know you will because you are so #27.

        Loving how the replies of this post are loaded with #… proves how you’ve beaten #28.

        #x0# :-)

        • Jill

          Lol me too! I wasn’t expecting it and I’m loving the replies with all the # references :)

  • http://theglobalbookshelf.com/about/ Gillian

    Very brave Jill! I think most people suffer from #4 – what sets you apart is the ability to keep moving forward and learning. You can send me any of #25 you have :)

    You know, I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone as driven and focused as you and Josh but remember to take the time, too, to enjoy the ride and appreciate your successes!

    • Jill

      Wow Gillian thank you so much, that truly means the world to me :)

      And I’m happy to hear I haven’t already forced enough of my business beliefs on you already! hahaha

      Also, you know if you ever have a question you can always get in touch :)

      xo

  • http://dageniuslab.com Brian Kwong

    Great post Jills, love how you tell it like how it is :)

    I am totally with you that honesty and transparency is the only way to go to do business going forward.

    Looking forward to your next post :)

    Brian

    • Jill

      Thanks Brian and a big freakin’ Amen to being honest and transparent!

      As for the next post…well…it’s a video so fingers crossed it’s well received :)

      *starts to bite nails*

  • Triin

    Great post Jill!
    Nothing or no-one is ever perfect and grass is not so green everywhere else as we would wish but by the end of the day, all that matters is that you are happy with your life the way it is and half of your dreams have come true and the other half is still ahead.
    So keep on the good work!

    • Jill

      I love that outlook Triin, thank you so much! I’m pumped to hear you dug the post :-)

  • http://www.treepottravels.com Rachel

    I’m right there with you on #15 :)

    #24, Don’t let people from your past haunt you today. Not all of us are bad.

    I love #27. There are great people in this world and you are proving to be one of them.

    It’s super hard to put yourself out there on a personal level like you just did. I have yet to do so myself. I’m proud of you and you should be too. :)

  • Jill

    Rachel that is an unbelievably sweet message, thank you so, so much!

    Loved your comment about #24…and it’s absolutely true! Most women are amazing, I’ve just met a few along the way that have been…well…less than amazing lol ;)

    And a big high-five on #15! Who cares about grammar anyway? haha ;)

  • http://www.startsomewhere.com Leanne Pittsford

    Great post. I am awful at grammar too! Leah makes fun of me all the time. I also care very little about matching socks. It just seems like it’s not worth the extra time to find two socks that match. Bummer about Google.

    And I can definitely relate to some of the things you mentioned about working with your partner or potentially not working with your partner. I’m going to send this to Leah too ;-)

    • Jill

      LOL the socks just gave me a seriously good laugh! Nice play ;)

      I’m happy to hear you dug the post Leanne! Hoping Leah will like it as well :)

  • http://www.shayorlena.com Shay Orlena

    Jill,

    I started following you and Josh a few weeks ago when I was trying to figure out whether or not to give up my 9-5 and join my mentor in Mexico to follow my dreams and become the entrepreneur I set out to be when I started school 5 years ago.

    Confession #1: I’m scared shitless.

    Confession #2: I have little to no savings. I have about 2 months to start generating an income or I’ll wind up right back here.

    Confession #3: I’m a logical, planned, detailed person and going with the flow is not easy for me, but I want to push myself out of my comfort zone.

    Confession #4: Every hour I flip between freaking the fuck out and excited that I’m taking this risk.

    Your blog post, this one and others, inspired me and 4 days ago I decided to make the move. I leave on September 3rd (for someone who writes multiple task lists a day this is an extremely short time to pack my entire life into one suitcase!). I’m 23 and thought that I would be stuck in the 9-5 for at least the first 5 years out of University.

    p.s. Don’t ever stop #6! Oh #15 and #22 are the banes of my existence! #19 is the reason I have to become an entrepreneur. I feel for you in regards to #24, I’ve been there and never let that get you down, clearly you’re an incredibly talented, driven and successful woman. When someone tries to bring me down it fuels me because it means I’m on to something awesome if I’m ruffling a few feathers!

    You’re awesome!

    – Shay

    • Jill

      Shay, HUGE congratulations on taking the leap! I’m insanely proud of you for booking your trip! Trust me, taking myself out of my comfort zone was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself. It not only pushes you to put yourself out there but it instills a sense of drive in you that you just don’t have back home (at least I didn’t)!

      Also, I love the confessions…and your little to no savings reminds me of Madonna (random, I know) who moved to NYC with like $50 to her name and made shit happen for herself.

      I have faith you will make things happen for your life because, well, you have no other choice but to make them happen, right?

      p.s. I constantly freak the fuck out but the excitement outweighs that feeling eventually and soon you’ll be hooked and never want to go back!

      Thanks for the kind words, that was unbelievably sweet of you :)

  • http://www.radioguy.co.uk Matt

    Hi Jill,

    I have been introduced to you buy listening to Sean Malarkey’s Money Pillow, so I’ve only just started to follow your journey. This is actually the first post I’ve read from you and I love the honesty. I too wish that business was done in this way. Your lifestyle adds its own pressures but that might be because we are expected to do the normal things. House, job, kids, etc… I have all of that and an uninspiring 9-5 job, so from my ‘comfortable’ lifestyle, yours looks very exciting.

    Keep at it, keep plugging away and most of all, enjoy your lifestyle the best you can… as the 9-5 is a lot less inspiring. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy life and every one who is involved in it. Equally though, I admire your choices too.

    Keep smiling :-)

    • Jill

      Thank you so much Matt! That’s a great perspective and I know that I occasionally forget how I used to feel about my life before I stepped into this current lifestyle. So thank you for the reminder :)

      As for your job, have you ever considered making the switch out of the uninspiring 9-5 into something that lights a fire within you?

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/sunnymonroe/ Sunny

    Loves it, Jill. Self-awareness and authenticity are under valued in this world, but they are priceless to me. It’s incredibly comforting to know a rock star like yourself has some of the same fears as I do, a complete newbie. Keep being you. So glad I found your site.

    • Jill

      Aw Sunny thank you SO much! And I truly think the fears never actually go away…they just evolve.

      In fact, I heard a wicked quote the other day that has helped me to re-frame fear in the last few days:

      “Fear is excitement with the brakes on.”

      How good is that?! I just loved it! Hope it helps you :)

      • Sunny

        That is brilliant! I’m stealing it! :-)

        • Jill

          Steal away!

  • Ali

    Wow, Brave Woman! So many common points on my list! I keep going back and forth between Being Scared I dont know enough… and trying to convince myself not to care or let it get to me…. I havent found the sweet spot yet, and I am sure it will take some time before I do!

    Your home will be next to me and Kenty :) , somewhere in this world :) .

    • Jill

      That’s what I’m hoping for :)

      And don’t be scared Al, you are one of the smartest women I have ever known! We all feel that way…just know you’re not alone xo

  • http://www.rebacharleston.com Reba

    Jill,

    I’m so inspired by your list and transparency. I also found you through Sean Malarky’s Money Pillow and couldn’t resist attaching myself to your journey (non-stalking of course). I worked the 9-5 for 23yrs, and left Aug’12 but still have yet to see success.

    I share a couple of your truths (especially the internal battle with #4), and am torn between being happy that a person with your level of success would share my same doubts, and feeling horrible that with all your fab-ness, you still feel those same doubts.

    One of my truths… that I continue to struggle with identifying what exactly it is that I’m supposed to do to fulfill my passion of serving others. I sure hope that doesn’t sound like or place me in the #18 category (yikes!)

    Keep doing what ya do!
    Reba

    • Jill

      Thank you so much Reba, I’m so happy to have you following (or stalking…whichever haha ;) )

      And don’t feel horrible that I still battle with everything…I think it’s probably a good thing. It keeps me humble and hungry :)

      Thank you for sharing your truth with us, it takes courage and it definitely does not place you in the #18 category! lol

      Do you have any ideas of how you want to serve others? Is it through teaching? Maybe through writing? Inspiring videos? Selfless volunteering? Connecting people to others? I think as long as you have a general idea of what it is you want to do then you can start to drill down to exactly what it is and how you are going to do that. Make sense?

      Either way I’m proud of you for getting out of the corporate world!! Nice work, girlfriend :)

  • Gabe Lee

    Thanks for sharing Jill,
    In a weird way this was comforting to read.

    I never would have guessed some of these thoughts run through your head. Now, I feel like I know you and Josh a bit more, and I like that.

    “I quietly speak to the Universe every single day.”
    This one made me smile for some reason.

    • Jill

      Thanks Gabe :)

      And yes, they absolutely do…probably more often than I care to admit! lol

      We’ll just have to hit the cocktail van and have yet another heart to heart over gin one of these nights lol ;)

      Thanks for the comment, my friend!

      p.s. I’ve always felt hearing about someone else’s fears and insecurities have helped me realize I’m not alone on this crazy ride that is entrepreneurship. I hope mine helped you :)

  • Bettina

    Hi Jill,

    I found you through Mish and Robs Blog some time ago and wanted to say that I really like reading your blog and that I love your honesty. I have two little kids that I homeeducate, so don’t have much time (I am actually typing this in the park) and am very tempted to use that as an excuse – oh no,#18!!!

    We want to move to the UK soon (it’s very HE-friendly) and then try to start an internet business again and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by the challenges.

    OK back to my kids, maybe I will email you, I would love to get unsolicited business advice!! Thanks again, I’m always looking forward to reading your blog.

    • Jill

      Thank you so much Bettina! And I love love love Mish and Rob! They may just be two of my fave people on the web and I haven’t even met them in person yet! lol

      Congrats on the new direction in your life! That’s so exciting :)

      I understand the feeling of overwhelm, however just take it one baby step at a time. The only thing that matters is that you are actually making progress and not getting caught up around the feeling of not “being ready yet”

      As long as you take action you can figure it all out! I have faith in you :-)

  • http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org Ashley Ambirge (@TMFproject)

    SMILING. :)

    • Jill

      Thanks Ash! Happy to have you around these parts :-)

  • Sophie

    Wow I love this post. Honesty is such an underrated, increasingly rare thing in this world, when in my opinion honesty is one of the things that bonds human beings together. If were are each pretending to have the picture perfect life then we are all going to end up resenting one another and never growing close enough to form a true bond. So many of the things on your list are more advanced versions of things I think about as I’m currently working towards becoming a writer/social media marketer and will deal with a lot of those same things in time.
    And I completely get how being bullied by women when young can damage your beliefs about them when older. I’m currently trying to work through this and actually embrace sisterhood so I can finally make some proper female friends. Its lovely to know that other people go through the same things.
    I only discovered this blog a week ago but I am already totally vibing with all you say. Your struggles and hard work make you an inspiration :)

    • Jill

      Sophie, thank you so much for such a lovely comment. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with less-than-awesome girls in your life too. But you know what? Those experiences only make us stronger and cause us to not settle for less than stellar girlfriends :)

      Keep me in the loop with your progress on writing and social media marketing. That was the first business I set up for myself – social media management for restaurants/bars so I can relate with the ups and downs on that industry as well!

      Stoked to have you as a reader & welcome to the Screw Crew! lol ;)

  • http://www.lifestyleninjablog.com/ Becky Crouch

    I love this! Jill! Great post. I have a similar list. Thanks for having the kahunas to post it. You’re amazing x

    • http://screwtheninetofive.com/ Jill Stanton

      Thank you so much Becky! I’m so happy you liked it :-)

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