April 30th: The Haters

JillBlog9 Comments

Two days ago a woman emailed me through our skin care site looking to submit a guest post.

Obviously I am very open to guest posting, hell, I just wrote about a post all about how to guest post! So yeah, I'm a fan.

Since I abide by a certain standard for the level of quality I provide to other bloggers, I expect the same for our websites.

Now I am pretty sure it's glaringly obvious by now that I am a loud-mouthed, F-bomb-dropping, sassy pants – a personality I just can't seem to stifle.

And since I'm a huge believer in being true to yourself and letting your personality shine on your sites, most of my posts reflect this overall voice and attitude.

Do some people find it to be too much? Probably.

Do our readers love it and keep coming back for more? Most definitely.

So when someone wants to write for our site I ask them to just keep in mind the overall tone and craft their post accordingly. Not a big ask, in my opinion.

Well, to this woman it was.

Not only did she pitch an idea we had already covered but when I suggested a topic relevant to her specific niche  – natural ways to lighten and brighten your skin (she is an ethnic skin care blogger and skin lightening is a biiiig industry) – she sent me this, with bolded words and everything:  Awww snap! Clearly girlfriend is not a fan of my writing.

Did it irk the hell out of me? Um, of course. Did I see it for what it was? Absolutely.

You see, when you put yourself out there, there are going to be those who love you and those who loathe you.

It's those who loathe you that are the first to criticize, and trust me, I've had my fair share of them.

It's during these moments that Steven Pressfield's words of wisdom come to mind and reassure me we're moving in the right direction.

In his book War of Art that he says – “The professional learns to recognize envy-driven criticism and to take it for what it is: the supreme compliment.”

So do these catty criticisms deter me from infusing my posts, our sites or our marketing efforts with that certain sass that has formed our readership, trust level and therefore success?

Hell no!

All I simply do is quietly smile to myself and think – if I'm so unprofessional, corny and prehistoric why did she want to become a monthly contributor?


  • Sabrina

    Haters? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

    • Jill

      mmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmm!

  • I would have been sincerely disappointed if there was not an “oh snap” in this article. Thankfully there was so we can all carry on. xox

    • Jill

      Phew! Thank god there is another woman out there who digs an ‘aw snap’ 😉

      Also, bedroom joyologist may just be the best title I’ve ever heard of!

  • The only reason I come here is for the f-bombs.

    Aw, aw, aw, awwwwwwwww snap. 🙂

    That’s interesting that she responded so harshly and she wasn’t even truly rejected. She could have used that opportunity to make a friend, but instead decided to burn a bridge.

    Even more, back when I was out pounding the virtual pavement for guest-posts, the majority of the time all I got back was stony, disapproving, shameful SILENCE. I’d be grateful for a response suggesting a different approach.

    But to each, their own, I guess. All the best, I’m out..!

    • Jill

      What up John! Nice to see you around these parts 🙂

      And a big eff yeah to F-bombs! lol 😉

      Firstly, I couldn’t agree more about that woman burning her bridges…her response was so uncalled for I was shocked to read it. If she has approached it in a different way and said she isn’t comfortable with slang or swearing but still wanted to infuse her posts with personality, I would have taken her post! Obviously I don’t expect each and every writer to love to swear as much as I do or have a serious lust for slang! lol

      But she just had to get her digs in to make herself feel better.

      As for deafening silence from the majority of blogs you contact…oh…we definitely have experienced that for sure! It’s so damn annoying! I try to follow up (max) 2 times just in case they meant to reply but didn’t or my email got lost in cyberspace. I’ll also follow up on social media if they are active…just to see what the deal is.

      It’s not an easy process…but it’s worth it 🙂

  • calipreneur14

    I am not really sure why she would have a problem writing for your blog after the fact. However, I find it extremely offensive that you would write “I suggested a topic relevant to her specific niche – natural ways to lighten and brighten your skin (she is an ethnic skin care blogger and skin lightening is a biiiig industry)” Why would you think that it is acceptable for a person of color to write about ways to lighten their skin?

    • Because she had an ethnic skincare blog about skin lightening and was looking for a link.

      There’s nothing offensive about suggesting a topic she was already writing about…and something that was a hot topic on our site at the time

      I’m not suggesting SHE or anyone lighten their skin, but if people are looking for information on it…why not give it to them?

      I think you may have just taken it the wrong way 🙂

      • Josh Stanton

        Yeah it’s intense ay haha.

        So much anger!